The feedback giver’s mindset and beliefs
We notice how someone gives feedback points to the development paradigm they operate from: are they entering the jungle or supporting the pride? This will inform their intention, their message, and their impact.
Other’s observations, experience, and knowledge can provide the data we need to learn something new or to reveal a blind spot. And yet, is that enough?
What are the feedback giver’s beliefs about how sustainable growth and development ultimately happen: is it outside-in or inside-out?
| Outside-in | Inside-out |
| Adopting behaviours or beliefs that work for other people | Becoming more of who you are, not someone else |
| Following the direction that makes sense to others | Having your own insight, self-awareness, and acceptance |
| Through the instructions given by those who “know better”? | As a result of your own sense-making and self-alignment |
Considering a different paradigm can be deep and uncharted territory for many people. It involves questioning your own beliefs and assumptions about how people learn. It affects everything about how you handle giving feedback: how you frame the conversation, the time and effort you invest in generating trust and fostering a productive thinking environment, the quality of your listening, the questions you ask etc.
Our analysis suggests that, in parallel to developing organisational awareness, givers of feedback also need to be self-aware, to know how their beliefs influence their mindset and underpin their behaviour. As we saw with our leading example, “be more of a lion”, conveys implicit beliefs about who can be a leader and what the organisation needs from its leaders. It says that, if you want to be a leader then deny who you are and become someone else, become a different type of animal. This message is more about the giver of feedback than the receiver.
So, the heart of giving good feedback is not skill (although that helps), it is self-awareness.
Self-awareness allows someone to give their mindset a health-check. This matters because their mindset will not only determine what they say when giving feedback but also how they turn up and engage with the recipient. Their mindset will be manifest in their persona: system 1 is inhabited by Judges and Teachers; system 2 is the terrain of the partner.
A system 2 mindset also brings clarity of intention. If the intention is to explore and co-create then the feedback giver is more likely to be sensitive to the readiness of the receiver. Is the time and location good for the other person? Will it support their positive engagement? Are they currently in the right mental or emotional state to bring the openness, energy, and attention that the dialogue requires?
Trust: the bridge between system and relationship
One of the key effects of system 2 is trust. People feel psychologically safe to experiment, to fail and to learn openly. Those in positions of authority can act on the environment and culture. They can champion acceptable behaviours and positive norms. They can align processes, like performance reviews, with the system’s values and beliefs. They can model behaviours by how they respond to failure, by being open and vulnerable, by visibly being a learner too, and by demonstrating their belief in others’ potential.
Trust or its absence becomes a habit within a relationship. That is why affirmative feedback is so important. It helps to create a relationship of trust, value and intimacy that provides a foundation for growth.
At the heart of a trusting relationship is the ability and willingness to get into dialogue. That takes skills, a positive intent, an open mindset, beliefs that enable growth and deep self-awareness. All this has significant development implications for anyone who wishes to give good feedback. They can benefit by following a clear process from the many that are advocated. But that needs a foundation. To summarise what we have said so far, they need the Skill, Intention, Mindset, Beliefs, and Awareness: they need to be SIMBA.